"New Social App"

Anu Atluru pokes fun at the appearance of any new social app. Daisy Alioto rounds up more links than usual. This piece was originally published in Working Theorys.

What is it about a new social app dropping that makes everyone remotely connected to tech go temporarily insane? Time to drop everything to go full throttle in search of an invite. But don’t seem desperate. You want an invite. But whatever, no big deal if not (but just to be clear, you do want it, and badly). Ok, you’re in.

Then everyone wants to know — what am I supposed to use this for? The same thing I already use the other apps for? That can’t be right. Is this the new Twitter? No, it’s Twitter meets Clubhouse meets Duolingo. Oh it’s memes-only? LinkedIn for gen alpha? the third Vine reboot? The Canadian TikTok killer? Oh is this the authenticity platform we’ve been promised? Oh, it’s just for close friends. Love that. Can I get 100 invites?

And who am I supposed to be on here? The same person I am on the other apps? Or somebody else? Hmm. Maybe this is a chance to reinvent myself. To abandon the persona I got backed into when that one tweet went viral. To free myself of my mutuals that I don’t even like. To change my profile pic without seeming like I’m vain. A new you for a new season of life. Oh the possibilities. By the way, can I invest?

Who made this thing though? And what is their political affiliation? Are they for free speech? Are they rich? What are their views on bodily autonomy? You need answers before you can decide if you even like the app. No other way. But the founders are so cool, and like powerful and stuff. Maybe I should give it a try, for the sake of the art.

Actually, maybe I should just wait. What’s the point of spending time on this thing if it’s just gonna fizzle out next week? But what if it doesn’t fizzle out? What if it’s the next big thing? If I’m not early, I’ll forever be alone. I’ll miss my window to be the Charli D’Amelio of text. I can see the parallel universe now and this app is at the center of it.

Nice, I’m pretty sure I’m one of the first thousand people on this app. Sucks for the rest of you. I’m cozy in my first class seat watching you walk by. Now what? Gotta make some moves. Who can I talk to on here that wouldn’t notice me anywhere else? I make them feel good, they make me feel good. Maybe I get a lucky break out of it. Or you could make friends. True. But I already have friends. What I need is business partners.

PLAYBACK

Snippets of streaming news — and what we’re streaming.

• Moves in the Field by Kelly Moran (Spotify)

• Charlotte Shane and Jo Livingstone in conversation with Tony Tulathimutte (Reading Writers)

• We finally know why Hilary Duff sampled Winston Churchill. (Jezebel)

• The studio behind Spotlight is shutting down. (Variety)

• The dungeon synth album you didn’t know you needed (YouTube)

• Ryan Broderick says, “If you’re trying to optimize your video in microseconds, the video pivot is probably already over.” (Garbage Day)

• Were you guys getting Donghua Jinlong memes on your TikTok FYP? Here’s why.

MIXTAPE

Good links from the Dirtyverse.

• “Now that I have discovered Maradona as a thirty-year-old, decades after the rest of the world, I notice he pops up in places where I’d never noticed him before.” (Paris Review)

• Do you have a fake email job? Would you like one? Read this first. (Bustle)

• Service journalism at its finest: the best halal cards in New York City. (Grubstreet)

• “Collecting the Lamy fans and the Owens heads on the Lido in the middle of the night is sort of like recalling the Avengers to a convention in Middle America.” Michèle Lamy’s 80th birthday party in SSENSE

• “The empirical evidence indicates at least a realistic possibility of conscious experience in all vertebrates…and many invertebrates.” Fucking knew it. (Quanta)

• A beautiful meditation on experiencing Bach. (Plough)

• An epic story about the people that maintain the internet cables at the bottom of the ocean. (The Verge)

• Chelsea Hodson interviews Emma Roberts about her house! “It’s clear a reader lives here.” (AD)

• The man of the hour…Jesse Plemons. (Texas Monthly)

• “People were just like, ‘Oh, what are these? Naked babies?’” Sonny Angels take over San Francisco. (Gazetteer)

• American culture is gambling culture. Drew Millard on the “hope labor” economy. (Nersey)

• “It’s 2020. I’ve moved to New York to teach at Cooper Union. I tumble through three short-term sublets and then stick the landing: a $1,400 1.5 bedroom a block away from Cooper Square. Everyone’s stealing from Barneys New York.” (The Baffler)

• Victoria Chang’s new book of poems is inspired by Agnes Martin (Interview) 

• Tavi Gevinson’s satirical Taylor Swift fan zine is as good as everyone said.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLECT

We do a little AI.

• I deeply need to go for a walk with instructions from a smart rock (myterra.ai) 

• Data is the new oil (Artificial Ignorance)

• The ghost of Thomas Kinkade is haunting AI imagery (Varnelis)

DIRT REVIEW OF REVIEWS

Critics are saying…

• Doreen St. Félix on Cowboy Carter (The New Yorker)

• Chris Black on Cindy Lee (GQ) 

• Anahid Nersessian on Constance Debré (NYRB)

• Philippa Snow on Grégoire Bouillier and Sophie Calle (Bookforum)

• Lewis Gordon on Harold Halibut (The Guardian)

• Mark Richardson on The Waterboys (Pitchfork)

• Tobi Haslett on Wayne Koestenbaum (4Columns)

• Dan Piepenbring on Father Time: A Natural History of Men and Babies (Harpers)

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