Selling out

Today is the one year anniversary of Bad Waitress! If you haven’t read Becca Schuh’s epic essay about working in restaurants—don’t delay! It remains one of the best things we have ever published…bad waitresses forever. 🤘 🍳

Dirt contributors and friends on what they'd sell out for.

Most online conversations about selling out get boring fast. The discourse tends to break down to semantics really easily, because any assessment of whether somebody (say, Punxsatawney Phil) is a sellout hinges on what it even means to be a sellout. It’s a glorified version of that timeless load-bearing Tweet: “is [pop star] a feminist? Is Mastercard a queer ally? Is this tv show my friend?” The only acceptable answers being “who cares” or “there is no ethical consumption under capitalism.”

So instead, let’s take it as a given that everyone has a price. What’s yours? 

Daisy, myself, and former Dirt intern Becky asked members of the extended Dirtyverse and beyond what they would sell out for, and why. The people answered—including lit-crit-it-girl Lauren Oyler, POW Mag’s Jeff Weiss, and some of my favorite X meme accounts (including the now-defunct Dr. Roberta Bobby and Emily… The Elusive Posteuse, may they rest in peace).

Annie Lennox said that there’s two kinds of artists—the ones who’ll endorse Pepsi and the ones who won’t. But is that even true? Yasi Salek puts it maybe the best: “I'm not sure selling out exists anymore since very few people stand for anything to begin with!” –Walden Green

Angela Serratore

The chance to quiet the part of my brain concerned with logistics. Are there vegetables that have to be used within the next three days? How are we getting to the airport? What's the tracking number on that package? I would sell out to never have to ask myself these questions again. I would also sell out for this

Angella D'Avignon

I'd sell out for a pseudonym and then disappear Agatha Christie style to go live in a European village like John Berger did after giving his Booker Prize money to the Black Panthers. I'd have an edible garden and a hobby ranch with sheep where I'd spin my own yarn and knit myself and my village neighbors clothes while selling NYT Bestsellers unbeknownst to anyone. And from my friend Alexia Veytia-Rubio, a translator here in Los Angeles: "I'd sell out for a guaranteed lifetime of widow vibes (palm springs house, in-house poolboy with questionable duties, kaftans, the works)" To disappear, divine!!!

Audrey Robinovitz

Part of me thinks the concept of selling out needs to be broken down into smaller parts. Are you talking about LCD Soundsystem selling out – privileging excessive money and status over connecting with your original fanbase? Or do you just mean relinquishing partial control of your artistic vision on the personal scale in exchange for the ability to maintain one's bohemian lifestyle. The former you could not torture me into doing, the latter feels like a necessity for any working artist in this day and age. Does the artist have a moral obligation to live in such a manner that he or she can afford to not compromise their values? The very existence of this question is why we need to bring back the patronage system. Did Michelangelo sell out by painting the Sistine Chapel for Pope Julius II?

Brendon Holder

Albanese gummy bears and an NDA from Parkwood Entertainment

Charlie Markbreiter

I would sell out for long-term financial stability––easy. But depends what counts as "selling out"? Like I would sell out to be corny, but not to do evil.

Dan Kolitz

Hard to answer because I’m still extremely unsure about how my life is going to play out—if I could know with some certainty that all my ambitions will come to nothing & that my lifelong evasion of a normal rise-the-ranks career was just pointless vanity, which seems plausible, then I guess I’d sell out for between 200k and 600k/year (depending on the heinousness of whatever organization I’ll be drafting client-facing ebooks for—I’d draw the line at weapons contractors but Big Tobacco would be fine as long as I could mostly focus on vapes, I love vaping) plus solid benefits & the option to work from home at least 3 days a week. That said I think my notion of “not selling out” would seem more or less indistinguishable from “selling out completely” to a truly hardcore, ‘90s-style anti-sellout type so, maybe I’m just a shill.

Very flattered to be asked to participate in this btw! Lmk if this answer is too long/rambling/etc.

Dr. Roberta Bobby

A metallic candy wrapper and a shiny pebble

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