Who am I in spoon form?

Emilia Petrarca on fashionable flatware. This essay first ran in Prune, our weekly newsletter about interiors, design and other things.

Who am I in spoon form? It’s a question that’s been haunting me for years, ever since I moved into my first solo apartment. I still don’t have a good answer—nor do I know who I am in fork or knife form, either; certainly not spork—but I’m working on it. 

Think less, my friends say. Just buy some normal flatware. Maybe something from IKEA or Muji or Williams Sonoma if I’m feeling fancy. Are you joking? We’re talking about arguably the most important instruments in my home—ones I will use at least three times a day, maybe more now that I no longer commute to an office—furthermore, ones that I will put in my mouth!!! No, I’m not just going to buy any old set.

While I search inwardly and outwardly for my cutlery doppelganger, I’ve been using some generic (read: criminally boring) Sambonet spares that a former flame who works in bars/restaurants “lent” me when I first moved in. I hate them. Not only because of their association with said former flame but also because they’re designed terribly. 

I used to think I was clumsy; now, I realize that my silverware’s weight is unevenly distributed. Every time I set a knife or fork down, it flips over and falls to the floor, splattering whatever I’m eating everywhere. So, I guess I do know one thing: I don’t want that. I also know that antiques aren’t really my style. And I don’t like it when cutlery looks like a toy or something you might find on a spaceship or in The Hunger Games. Oh, and nothing distracting like bamboo handles, either. Okay, yeah, I might be a little picky. 

After a brief hiatus, I’ve been feeling inspired to pick up my search again. It’s the holiday season, and I’m thinking and reading a lot about table settings and being around a table with others. 

A museum exhibit dedicated solely to place settings opened this month at a museum in Kingston, New York. While scrolling through Instagram, I came across some new Prada-branded silverware, which made me think my cutlery doppelganger does exist… In the form of a fashion fork! I’ve been following along as the brand has expanded its relatively new home goods section (many labels ramped it up during the pandemic) and have been tempted by its porcelain and glass before. But a single cutlery set retails for $380, and there’s some small branding at the bottom, which rubs me the wrong way. It’s perhaps too on-brand. Unless someone wants to gift me a set, in which case, I love it. 

The capital-F fashion person in me is, of course, attracted to designer names, and the industry has plenty of opinions on setting a table. Gucci has been doing flatware for ages; Virgil Abloh collaborated with Alessi on a collection before his death, and Karl Lagerfeld did the same with Christofle. Ann Demeulemeester started taking porcelain master classes after she left fashion, and you can now buy her (unbranded) cutlery on SSENSE. You can even get a Meret Oppenheim-inspired Rick Owens spoon. 

Branding will cost you, though. A single Hermès horsebit spoon goes for $585, and a Versace one is somehow even more than that. Louis Vuitton chopsticks are $800. And you don’t even want to know about jewelry brands like Tiffany or Cartier. (Elsa Peretti salt and pepper shakers are more my speed.) 

For less overt branding, I turn to smaller jewelry designers like Jessi Burch, who just launched ornate sterling silver cutlery, and furniture designers like Gio Ponti. This Noguchi tea set is pretty incredible. And then there are the big names in flatware: Alessi, Georg Gensen, Serax, and Christolfe, which makes an egg-shaped container that is most pleasing to me. 

All this is well and good, but at the end of the day, I do think there’s something slightly embarrassing about having designer flatware. This $75 green Sabre bistrot set appeals to me most. The 90-degree angles make each piece feel sturdy, like a pencil in your hands, but the colors make them fun and unique as well. The brand was founded in 1993 in Paris, and I’m also into the “bistrot” of it all; it’s not exactly a fancy restaurant, but it’s not a diner, either. Wait, am I a bistrot spoon?? Pas non. 🥄

BEFORE YOU GO…